Part 5.1 of a novel: the toilet

Oddly, probably my favorite brand of toilet is made by the company American Standard. Not because they make a particular comfortable model. No, I just always found the name kind of ironic. The company obviously wanted a strong name. They wanted something that would invoke trust, but in doing so they basically allowed millions of people to piss daily on this idea. Sure, in most cases it is nothing more than a mold of porcelain, but for me personally I can’t help but think that I am doing more than just watering the porcelain holy lands; I legitimately feel I am pissing on the American standard of life. I could care less, but it always amuses me and puts a goofy smile on my face which if I’m at a urinal standing next to someone usually leaves them feeling a bit uncomfortable and rushed.

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